


Say it Out Loud

by MotherGoddamn



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherGoddamn/pseuds/MotherGoddamn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Film star Kurt Hummel is the hottest thing on screen in the Roaring Twenties, as is his new co-star Sebastian Smythe. But can the two get past their hatred and continue their chemistry off screen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note: This is an AU that presumes homosexual tolerance in a time when it was historically unacceptable. Please see original[GK prompt](http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/30710.html?thread=38311414#t38311414) for more details **.**_

 

 

**Chapter 1**

 

'I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.' Kurt purred, raising his knuckles to his brow and casting his face into one of abject sorrow, pressing himself backwards into the silk cushions.

'Er, Abrams,' the director cleared his throat. 'It's Abrams. We discussed this yesterday? And the day before that. You made me wear this name tag and--'

'Yes, yes, okay.' Kurt sighed as the moment was lost. Glaring to his side, he saw Dave cover his face with a gloved hand, while his body shook silently with laughter. 'I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. _Adams_.' He arranged his limbs once more into that of a tragic hero, widened his eyes into beloved large and watery pools that his public yearned to leap into, pursed his lips into a pucker that Clara Bow would happily rip off his face and throw into the Pacific. He became Kurt Hummel. America's number one box office star. Well, after Valentino. But he was working on it.

Reclining against the couch, he shook and gasped as Dave Karofsky entered the room, his sword lifted high and a smirk plastered on his face. 'Aha,' he said, raising a finger to his eyebrow and smoothing along it. 'I have found you at last, Count! And now I shall have you! You and your fortune!'

'Never! The Masked Rider shall come! He shall save me from your horrific clasp of evil.'

Kurt started as Dave grabbed him up by his arm and drew him to his meaty chest, shaking him roughly as Kurt battered against him and struggled to escape.

And struggled.

And struggled.

Kurt peeked one eye open and peered at the door behind Dave. With a quick glance upwards he caught Dave's expression of confusion.

Oh, for Goodness' sake.

'Never!' he repeated. Louder. 'The Masked Rider shall come! He shall save me from your horrific clasp of evil.'

The door remain closed.

'Oh, no--' Dave cried. 'Is that _the door_ I hear?'

Nothing.

'Cut!' Kurt cried, pushing Dave away and heading for the door.

'I'm supposed to say that!' protested Artie, wheeling towards them. 'Cut!'

Kurt ignored him, swinging open the door, one hand upon his hip. 'Are you deaf? You missed your cue. Ag--oh!' Kurt broke off as he saw his joint leading man on the other side. In a very comprising position with one very flexible chorus girl.

'That's it,' whispered Kurt softly, rubbing at his temples with his finger-tips. 'I want this oaf off the Lot. I want him fired.'

'Fire him? But he was hired by Mayer himself,' Abrams hissed, turning his head away as the entangled couple quickly tried to dress themselves.

'How wonderful for him. And he can have the pleasure of firing him himself, too.' Kurt held up a finger. 'And if Mr. Mayer has any issues with that, you may want to remind him of my last movie's box office returns and that my contract is reaching its end. Perhaps I'll return that call to Griffith, after all?'

He looked them all over slowly. Abrams looked nervous and worried. Dave looked concerned. And Puckerman or whatever his name was, looked a mixture of agitated and satisfied. Suddenly, Kurt felt more lonely than he had in weeks.

'I'll be in my dressing room,' he announced, raising his nose in the air and leaving them all behind.

* * *

 

Reverently, Kurt's fingers drifted over the bumps and indents of Blaine's last letter to him. It had been an age since Kurt had seen him, and the loss never diminished in its freshness. He glanced up at his mirror, ignoring his reflection and smiling at the photographs that lined its edge. Blaine smiled back, his arms spread wide as he twisted himself into another complex move and Sebastian, his partner, reached out in preparation for when he fell back to Earth. God, Kurt missed him. There had been a time when he had thought that they would never be apart but life had other plans and had laid down different paths for them both. For Blaine, it had been the pull of vaudeville with his blow-hard of a friend Sebastian. For Kurt, it was the bright lights of Hollywoodland. They had foolishly thought that their love would be enough for them both to have their dreams.

They had both been very young, naive. They had both been very wrong.

A soft knocking at his door shook Kurt out of his memories, and he pushed the letter out of sight before calling out a quiet invitation to enter.

'Hello,' said Dave, closing the door behind him. 'You okay?'

Kurt fussed with his hairline and ignored the question. 'Has that idiot been fired, yet?'

'Yes, well, from this picture at least. He was still pulling up his trousers as he left the Lot. According to Evans, he managed to pick up two more broads as he went out the gate.'

Kurt tutted. 'No accounting for taste. I honestly didn't think they could find anyone worse than that Hudson boy.'

'He wasn't that bad!'

'He tried to dip me and managed to give me concussion!' Kurt pointed at his crown. 'Here, feel my head! There's still a bump.'

Dave cleared his throat and reached his fingers out tentatively to touch, but Kurt slapped at his hand. 'And what about that Rory person? I couldn't understand a word he said!'

'But it's a silent--'

'And don't even get me started on that Mike Chang. You call that dancing?'

'Actually, I thought he was pretty good.'

'Who is supposed to be the star here? They don't come in their droves to watch some newcomer dance around me. They come for me.' Kurt blanched at his own tone. 'I'm sorry, Dave. I'm being a brat. I'm just-- not sleeping I guess.' His fingers edged towards Blaine's letter, his mind wandering to his words, the ones that said he was coming to Los Angeles and wanted to see him.

'It's okay.' Dave shuffled his feet. 'Are you coming to watch the dailies?'

'Is there any point? The whole thing will need to be re-shot now.' Kurt frowned. Was that a wrinkle? 'It can't be that hard to find a good looking idiot to stand there while I drape over him half naked, can it?' He rubbed at his temples absently, Lord, how he needed to get away from this insipid roles.

'Well, not when you find fault with every newcomer they send in, no. And you're just disappointed that they wouldn't give you that Gilbert,' laughed Dave.

Kurt smiled at that. 'And you're not?'

'He's, uh, not my type actually.' Dave stuttered, rubbing at the back of his neck.

'I was just joking, Dave,' answered Kurt. 'I know you and that producer are often stealing away for nightcaps. Lopez, is it?' Kurt waved a hand. 'It's okay, I won't say a word.'

'Actually, that's what I came in--- I mean.' Dave gave a deep breath. 'So, the gang are going out for some drinks later and--'

'What we need,' said Kurt, tapping at his lip. 'Is someone handsome, graceful and strong. Someone the audience can connect with, you know?' He turned in his seat and looked into his image in the mirror. 'Someone who just looks right with me.' His gaze was caught by the picture taped to the frame. ' _Oh_.'

'Oh, what?' Dave's voice was low and raspy and when Kurt met his eyes in the mirror, there was a blush spreading across his face. He seemed to do a lot, Kurt thought absently, probably embarrassed that Kurt had made that crack. Amazing to think he was currently Hollywood's go to villain, when he spent every minute looking awkward and uncomfortable. Kurt would have to help him out of that habit. Later.

'I think,' continued Kurt, smiling at Blaine's face. 'I have found the perfect co-leading man.'

* * *

 

'Okay, now, Blaine. Walk from that door to the window. Then pick up the vase and put it on the windowsill.' Kurt smiled as Blaine glanced at him uncertainly. 'Go on,' he said encouragingly.

Blaine nodded and then wiped his hands against his pants, muttering under his breath, before rising his head he smiled brightly at the camera.

'No, no! Don't look at the camera!' Kurt cried. 'Towards the window, Blaine, watch out for the---' He bit down on his lip. 'It's okay, the vase was a prop. We can get a new one. Brittany, go find something for Blaine to pick up, will you?' He nodded as the girl hurried off. 'And then we can start again.'

'This is riveting,' sighed Sebastian, leaning back in his chair and exhaling smoke from his lips. 'Mildly more exciting than your last cinematic masterpiece.'

'Please feel free to leave at anytime,' replied Kurt through gritted teeth. If he had his way than Sebastian would be tied up and on a train track on some other lot, but Blaine had insisted he only felt comfortable with this if the dolt was somewhere nearby.

'No, I'm serious.' Sebastian sat up and stared at Kurt earnestly. 'That movie of yours. _The Urchin and the Pirate_?'

Kurt watched his face carefully for signs of cruel jest. 'Yeah?'

'Oh, wow. I mean. I was glued to my seat!'

'Really?' Kurt smiled shyly. Perhaps he had misjudged Sebastian all these years.

'Yeah. Otherwise I would have got up and left.'

Kurt turned away and concentrated on holding his temper in check. He needed to keep on Blaine's sweet side after all. The last thing he could was choke Sebastian on a roll of film. 'Of course you didn't like it. I'm sure this is an art form that flies over your abnormally shaped head.'

'All I know is that your snow drift of a face was fifty foot high and children were screaming and crying. There was nothing I wanted to understand.' Sebastian wrinkled his nose. 'And are you allergic to clothes? Or does material crawl away from you in horror rather than touch your body.'

Blaine interrupted before Kurt could get up and head out to find an ax. 'I don't understand the point of this, Kurt,' called Blaine from the stage. 'Shouldn't I be talking? You know, acting?'

'The point of the test to see how you move on the screen, Blaine. And you're doing great!'

'Liar,' whispered Sebastian, his hot breath fanning against his cheek. 'What's this really about?'

'I don't know what you are talking about,' sniffed Kurt. 'A part came up that was perfect for Blaine and aligned with you two being in town. I'm just being a good friend and looking out for your careers. Perhaps if Blaine catches on, you two can take your act to the screen.'

'Perhaps we like our act the way it is?' Sebastian countered. 'And we don't need any lesser man's Pickford fouling it up for us.'

'How dare you?' Kurt snapped. 'Do you have any-- Blaine, can you not climb on the furniture? It's quite fragile. Artie? Don't film that.'

'Do I have any idea who you are? Is that what you were going to say?' Sebastian shook his head. 'Get this, Pasty, I intensely don't care. And I would much rather that your inherent selfishness stay away from mine and Blaine's lives. It took us a long time to get to where we are today, and I won't have you mess it up because you are struck by a whim.'

'It is not a whim!' protested Kurt. 'This could open a lot of doors for you and--'

'And maybe Blaine will take your twig like torso into his arms and fall in love with you all over again? Maybe decide tinsel town is for him, after all? Great. Just great. And what about me? Where do I end up?'

Kurt shook his head. 'And _I'm_ the selfish one?'

'I'm back!' announced Brittany, holding up a bundle in her arms. 'And I found something for Blaine to pick up!'

Sebastian blinked. 'Is that--'

'Rin Tin Tin,' answered Kurt. 'Zanuck is going to kill me.' He looked over at Blaine who was looking positively star struck. 'Oh, well. It will have to do. From the top!'

* * *

 

'Genius, utter genius!' Mayer mumbled around the rim of a cigar. 'I knew you looked good in pictures, kid, but who knew you had a talent in casting!'

Kurt grinned, settling back into the chair. To think, he'd actually been nervous about coming in here and pleading Blaine's case. Of course Blaine had nailed it. He was a natural.

'I thinking that he'd be more than perfect as my co-lead, don't you?' Kurt said smoothly.

'You got that right, kid. You got it right.' He took the cigar out of his mouth and pointed at Kurt. 'Now, how about changing the name. Something that will light up a film poster alongside your name--'

'Below. _Below_ my name...'

'... Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel in their newest motion picture! See them dance, see them cry! See them love!'

The words left a nestle of warmth in Kurt's stomach. 'Well, I'm glad you're coming around to the idea, but my name would actually be firs--'

'Kid's got great features, I'll give him that. Classic. And a good height. You look better with tall men.'

'Hasn't he?' Kurt smiled. 'And-- wait? Tall? Blaine's not tall.'

Mayer frowned and puffed on his cigar. 'He looked pretty tall in that screen test. You put him on a box or something?' He had actually. But Blaine had managed to trip over it twice while chasing after the dog and that had put paid to that.

A feeling of unease was working its way up Kurt's spine slowly. There was something off here. Something wasn't adding up.

'What-- what else did you think of the test?'

'What else? What else is there? Camera loved him. Guys and dolls go gaga for a cocky lead these days.'

'But Blaine's not...' Kurt swallowed audibly. 'How many tests did you get?'

'Two. This, uh, Blaine and that goofy pygmy that was running round with a dog breaking Lot property.' Mayer paused. 'I liked the dog, can we get the dog?'

Kurt's blood turned to ice. 'Smythe?' he breathed, his nails digging into the hand rests at his side. 'Sebastian Smythe.'

Mayer made a face. 'See? It just doesn't work. This Blaine Anderson is a much better bet.'

'Blaine _is_ the pygmy! I mean--- Blaine was the test with Rin--- with uh, _Rover_! That was the one I sent, the _only_ one I sent!'

'Uh. You think this Blaine is attached to his name? It's a great name. Would look good in print.'

'Of course he is attached to his name! And I want him attached to this role!'

Mayer shrugged. 'With all that manic spinning and all those odd faces he pulls? Come now, Kurt. I sent that over to Warners.' He laughed low. 'They could do with a bit of comedy over there.' He patted the reel at his side. 'But this other one you sent was more you. I've arranged for the kid to come see me later today.'

'No! No no!' Kurt held up his hands. 'I want Blaine Anderson in the picture with me and that's that!'

'That's that?' Mayer watched him, his eyes beginning to well up. Oh, God, no. Kurt hated it when he pulled this trick. Kurt much preferred it when the man was screaming, throwing things and yelling. Although, he had a habit of doing all four at once to get his own way. 'That's your response to my trying to help you? You and your dwindling box office?'

'What on Earth are you talking about? I'm this studio's biggest draw.'

Tears were running free from Mayer's eyes now and he stubbed out the cigar viciously. 'I hate to tell you this, I do. But your last movie didn't touch your previous three movies in returns. The audience is bored. It wants something--' he paused as Kurt sighed and lent over and gave him a tissue, '--fresh and exciting. Like this.' He sat back and pulled open the drawer to his desk, collecting a handful of magazines and fanning them out on the surface.

Kurt glanced down at the _Modern Screens, Screenland_ and _Photoplay_ magazines that now littered the desk. The same earnest, pretty face stared back at him with soft brown eyes. 'Rachel Berry? Who's she?'

'Your replacement.' Mayer dabbed at his eyes. 'If you don't start bringing in the ticket stubs again.'

Kurt picked up the nearest and began to flip through it. '"Miss. Berry is MGM's latest signing and--" wait, she's signed with us?'

'Of course! What would you have me do?' Mayer shook his head and stared over at Kurt. 'She's a popular on stage and all the gossip columns are lit up on her. I have to give my public what they want.' He sighed sadly and tapped at the reel once more. 'If only you would give me what I want. Or, hmm, or maybe I could find a part for Berry on this movie of yours.' He paused for dramatic effect. 'Maybe _your_ part?'

Kurt stared back, a rising panic cresting in his throat. In his mind, he saw Billboards with his name being taken down and the text _Rachel Berry_ replacing it in the air. He couldn't do that. He had worked too hard to get here, he had lost too much. And besides, no doubt Sebastian would do something to get himself fired by lunch-time and Kurt would be free of him.

'Fine,' spat Kurt. 'But just one picture, okay? And I want Blaine to have a part, too.'

'Sure, sure. Whatever you want.' He grinned widely and pushed his glasses up his nose. 'Glad you could see things my way. You'll see, this is going to be good for you!'

 


	2. Chapter 2

'I detest you with every fibre of my being,' said Kurt, staring up into Sebastian's face with wide, love-filled eyes. 'My mouth is filled with bile at the thought of you touching me.'

'You're _so_ heavy. What did you have for breakfast? Fatty Arbuckle?'

'I'm not heavy, you lug! You just have weak, spindly arms. I feel like a panicked Olive Oyl is making love to me.'

Loud footsteps clomped behind them as Dave sneaked into the room. His sword held high above his head as he edged towards them.

Sebastian stared down at Kurt, his eyes shining with pure adulation. 'Your face is so bland that I'm doing my best not to nod off in the middle of this scene.'

'Oh, please do. Being unconscious would be a vast improvement on your overall personality.'

Sebastian blinked. 'Kurt? Is that you? For a moment I thought it was Lon Chaney!' He pulled him close and peppered kisses all over his face, before pulling back and speaking against his lips. 'After we shoot this scene, I'm going to go lick a sidewalk to get this taste of mediocrity out of my mouth.'

'And find your latest bed partner, no doubt.' Kurt smiled, smoothing his palm across Sebastian's cheek. 'I heard your rates. They're far too high.'

'Just like your voice. You're lucky that these things don't have sound or the theatres would be filled with manic dogs.' He spun dramatically and shielded Kurt from the diving Karofsky. 'Now try not to break a nail while the rest of us actually act.' He flung himself away from Kurt and swiped up a blade from the floor, instantly beginning to fight in earnest with Dave. Kurt hated to admit it, but Sebastian was pretty good at this. Too good.

Sebastian ducked as Dave swung at him with his sword, and pulling backward in a preparation stance. 'I shall fight you, sir,' he said as he raised a thin, plucked brow. 'And have the boy for myself.'

'You clearly have no taste, Duke, let me tell you that you can do much better. But never mind. En garde!'

Kurt felt the familiar sense of jealousy as he watched the two fight across the room, swirling, thrusting and throwing themselves around full-bodily. Occasionally, and not only occasionally, mind, Kurt would like to be the swashbuckling hero in these films instead of being the the duller, extremely kidnappable victim. Besides, he could really pull off the knee- high boots.

'Cut!' Abrams called as Sebastian pushed the blade through the space between Dave's chest and armpit and declared him to be very, profoundly, dead. 'Great job, everybody. We'll move on from this scene and shoot in the Dastardly Duke's lair next.'

Sebastian tore the mask from his eyes and smiled brightly. 'This is pretty fun, actually.' He turned to Kurt. 'Bar the parts that involve you, of course.'

'Well, don't get used to it,' he said as Brittany rushed over, fussing over him and fiddling with his collar. 'This will be your only picture with me, Smythe.'

'At the state you're rapidly aging, I'd say it's your last picture ever.'

'And stop changing my title. It's _Count_.'

'Is that not what I'm saying?' asked Sebastian innocently.

'You know it's not.'

'I wouldn't worry, when you read my lips it looks close enough.'

Kurt replied with a curse that couldn't be lip read as anything than what it was and marched away, his head high and his eyes fixed on the cool, calm comforting presence of Blaine.

'I'm going to kill him,' he said by way of greeting. 'Possibly with a prop.'

Blaine laughed. 'It's been three weeks. Surely you two are over this feud by now?'

'It was supposed to be you over there, fighting for my honour, looking handsome and good. Instead, I get a demented Felix the Cat stinking up my picture.'

'I think he's good!' Blaine protested. 'And I really like my part.'

'Oh, please. You're one of the Dastardly Duke's harem. That's hardly role of the century.'

'I like it,' Blaine muttered before visibly shaking himself. 'Anyway, I think you two look good together. All the fan pages are talking about the chemistry between you two.' He smirked, and Kurt wondered if he had taken lessons from Sebastian. 'They say that you two are flirting off screen as well as on.'

'Ergh,' Kurt closed his eyes. 'Unless you call crawling off the sound stage to upchuck in a waiting bucket flirting, than I am more happy to dismiss that rumour.' He glanced over to where Sebastian was regaling a group of visiting reporters with some story or another, while they threw their heads back in laughter. 'He is driving me insane. I'm serious.'

'That's just Sebastian,' Blaine reasoned, bumping him with his shoulder. 'You shouldn't keep rising to it.'

'I could strangle Artie for actually letting him film a screen test. You know that he only did it to annoy me, right?'

'Kurt, you did tell him it would get us some promotion for our act,' protested Blaine. 'He was just trying to help. It's not his fault that he was better at it than me.' Blaine shrugged. 'I just feel more comfortable on a stage, that's all.'

'Yes. I'm sure he was thinking of the good of others when he slimed all over Artie. I'm sure irritating me had nothing to do with it. I have never understood your insistence on working with him. He's a vile cad and has had a problem with me from day one.'

'You did tell him you didn't like him the first moment you were alone with him.' Blaine shrugged. 'You didn't exactly help smooth things over.'

'Excuse me?' Kurt turned to him with raised brows. 'Because he spent every waking minute undermining me and trying to steal you away! Of course I didn't like him! What did you want me to do? Wear his class ring?'

Blaine held up his hands, as if warding Kurt's words off. 'Okay, okay. Point taken. But you've got at least six more weeks of this, Kurt. Maybe you should try and put the past behind you both. Besides!' he said, his grin dopey and wide. 'This is quite nifty! I didn't realise how much fun filming could be!'

'Oh,' Kurt chewed at his lip. 'Maybe-- maybe you could stay in town for a tad longer? I've been looking at this new script, it's called Sadie Thompson and--'

'Hmm, I don't know, Kurt.' Blaine shifted his eyes away. 'It was just meant to be this one off. To help you out, remember?'

_Yes. But the wrong one had ended up in the role of helper, hadn't he?_

'Right, sure. Sure.' He grinned brightly, hoping that Blaine didn't see it tremble from effort. 'Do you want to go to dinner later? There's this lovely litt--'

'Kurt!' Sebastian yelled from behind him. With a snarl, Kurt turned ready to threaten one of Sebastian's vital organs. Any organ. On seeing the gossip columnist Louella Parsons grinning up at him with a sickly grin he swallowed the urge down and settled his expression into one of pure delight.

'Lou-Lou!' He grabbed her into a hug, glaring over her shoulder at Sebastian's chinless face. 'How nice to see you.'

'You too, Kurt!' He tried not to wince at her shrill voice as she wagged a finger at him. 'Now, I thought we had a deal that you would tell me if you had yourself a handsome beau?'

'Sorry?' Kurt tilted his head at her in puzzlement, only to see Sebastian plastering on one of his trademark smirks. 'Oh, no, No, no, no! No. Trust me. No.'

'Methinks that--'

'No!' Kurt held up a hand. 'I can't deal with you misquoting Shakespeare as well. Is there no end to your awfulne--' Kurt paused as he remembered Louella's presence, '-- your, your teasing?' He laughed gaily. 'Sebastian is _such_ a kidder.'

'And Kurt loves it. Don't you, baby?' Louella practically took off in excitement when Sebastian sneaked in that little endearment. Kurt curled his hands into fists and rewarded himself with images of them landing all over Sebastian's face. 'Well, Lou-Lou, I must dash. I need to get ready for our next love scene.

Kurt furrowed his brows together. 'But we already filmed those today.'

Sebastian shrugged. 'Who said anything about filming?' He walked away, hands in his pocket and a Berlin number whistling from the corner of his mouth. Kurt fumed as Blaine watched him awkwardly and Louella scratched away excitedly at her notepad.

If there was one thing that he was certain of, once this awful picture was over, Kurt was putting a clause in his contract that he would never have to be in the same room as that man ever again.

* * *

 

'Gloria, darling!' Kurt air kissed her daintily as he passed by. 'Love the gown!'

'I thought you couldn't stand her,' whispered Dave as she carried on by, wriggling her fingers and bestowing them with a gracious smile.

'Not while she has her talons into _Sadie Thompson_ , I don't.' Kurt nodded, as a host of other partygoers swished past. 'Also, that dress was sublime. I must find out her stylist. Note that down.'

'I'm not your assistant,' muttered Dave, writing it down on his napkin anyway. 'I thought that Maugham wasn't keen on you taking the role.'

'What do writers know about cinema? I mean, really, is it that much of a hardship to make Sadie into a Sid? The role transcends gender.' Kurt smiled at the waiter, as he offered them a tray of drinks. 'It really is a fantastic part, Dave,' he said, taking a glass, 'one that could really break me out of these insipid, helpless victim roles Mayer has me typecast in. It would be great to do some real acting for a change rather than opening my eyes wide and fainting every five minutes.' Kurt looked Dave over, considering. 'You know, you'd make quite a good Davidson. I could pitch us as a team.'

'Actually, -- I mean, I've read the novel.' Dave flushed red. 'Bits of it, anyway, and I'd quite like to be that O'Hara character. You know. The hero for once.'

Kurt took a small sip of his wine and gave a non-committal nod. He had plans for that part, actually. In fact, he had a lot of plans regarding the person he wanted in that part, and with a bit of luck he'd be setting them in play tonight. He glanced around the party in hope of spotting Blaine amongst the familiar faces of the industry. Personally, Kurt loathed these gatherings, but it all helped towards creating the right kind of buzz for whatever project they were working on, and if Mayer was telling the truth about Kurt's most recent returns, he couldn't afford for this latest to be a miss.

Just as long as everybody knew that the success lay at Kurt's talented fashionably clad feet, and not his bothersome co-lead's.

'---low down, slimy, son of a bitch! Get outta here, before I---'

The two spun round at the sound of the loud, braying New York accent, to be greeted with a very wet Sebastian, and a very agitated Clara Bow. She shook the last remaining dregs of her glass onto his jacket, threw some choice curse words at him and then spun on her heel and stalked away.

Sebastian glanced down at his now soaking jacket, and shrugged, laughing softly. 'I guess that's a yes, then.'

'What on Earth did you say?' Kurt demanded, walking up to him briskly. 'Are you trying to give our picture an excuse to sink? I have to work with these people, Sebastian!'

'Calm down, milk-teeth,' answered Sebastian, stealing the napkin out of Dave's hand and mopping himself down, smearing the ink. 'All I did was ask if the rumours about her and the USC football team were true.'

'You-- you---' Kurt could feel his face growing red. 'What is the matter with you? You can't just--- I mean--' He glanced around at the staring faces of his peers and inwardly cringed. No doubt this would be all over Parson's column tomorrow. 'You can't just ask people things like that, Sebastian!'

'Okay.' Sebastian nodded severely. 'So, you're saying that I probably shouldn't have asked Marion Davies what really killed Ince and whether or not she was screwing Chaplin?'

All the red in Kurt's face pooled away, as his fingers clenched and unclenched, itching to be wrapped around Sebastian Smythe's scrawny neck. 'This, Sebastian,' he said, struggling to hold his temper in check, 'is not vaudeville, things are done a little differently here. With class, for example.' Kurt shook his head sadly. 'A concept that clearly evades you. Having none and all.'

'My apologies,' Sebastian smiled sweetly. 'We can't all be proper little ladies like you, can we?'

'Kurt!' Blaine saved Kurt from answering by coming up behind them, curling his arms around Kurt's middle and pressing his face into the crook of his neck. 'Kurt, this party is just ducky. I swear I just saw Pola Negri in the gardens!' Kurt's legs gave a tremble and he allowed himself to press backwards into Blaine's familiar, comforting warmth.

'Christ.' Sebastian twisted his lip. 'He's got into the liquor cabinet already. He must have come with a crowbar.'

'Oh, shh. Shh. I've only had one or two or six glasses.' Blaine waved his hand and got Kurt in the cheek. Twice. 'Dave! Good evening, Dave.' He smiled brightly. 'Dave.'

Sending Sebastian a glare, Kurt turned slightly, cupping Blaine's flailing hand with his own. 'You were excellent in your scenes today. You're a real natural. I think you're improving more and more everyday.'

'Really? I messed up my mark a few times--, but yeah. I think I am getting better!'

'You know, if you ever need help with your role, one on one, I'd be happy to give you some coaching. Perhaps after the party we could go back to mine and--'

'No can do, Mrs Grundy, Blaine and I need to rehearse bright and early tomorrow.' Sebastian interrupted smoothly, eyes narrowed at their joined hands. 'We've got a gig at the Orpheum on Friday and we need to it to be tight.' His smile was bitter. 'We did stay in town for our careers after all.'

Blaine nodded enthusiastically at this and gave Kurt an apologetic smile. 'Thank you, but don't worry. Dave has been helping a lot. So much. So much. So, so, so--'

'I get it!' Kurt tried not to let his disappointment show on his face, refusing even to glance Sebastian's way, knowing that he would know exactly what he was thinking. He'd always had an uncanny knack for that, even back in Lima. 'Of course, whatever is best for you.'

Sebastian snorted, but remained blissfully quiet as an awkward silence fell over the group. When Kurt had first made the decision to put Blaine forward for the part, it had all worked out so differently in his head. It had been four weeks and Blaine was no closer to being his again than when they had first started. Was it something that Kurt was doing wrong? Had too much gone on between them to ever rekindle that flame? Or was the overbearing presence of Sebastian over-shadowing the whole affair?

It didn't matter, really. Not now that Kurt knew what he wanted. He had lost Blaine once due to his own ambition, but nothing was going to stop him from having him again. All he had to do was try a little harder. That's all.

'Blaine.' Kurt took a deep breath and tried to quell the nerves swirling in his stomach. 'I wondered if you'd like to step out onto the balcony with me? We could watch the fire-works.' It was time to bring out the big guns. Kurt tipped his head to floor, and looked up coyly through half-lidded eyes. This was a look he knew to be a favourite of the public. The Kurt Hummel look. There wasn't a man or woman alive who could possibly resist it.

Unfortunately, Blaine's glassy eyes were still occupied on Dave's face. 'That would be wonderful! What do you say, Dave, would you care to join us?'

'What? Oh, uh-- sure.' Dave turned to Kurt and smiled shyly. 'Sure that would be swell.'

'Great!' Blaine arched on his tip-toes and continued to grin up at Dave.

'Perfect,' sighed Kurt, clearing his throat and furiously batting his eyelashes in Blaine's direction.

'Fantastic,' muttered Sebastian, taking the wine from Kurt's hand and downing it in one.


	3. Chapter 3

 'Well,' said Sebastian staring down at him with an amused grin, 'you look as miserable and unappealing as your film posters.'

'Not now, Sebastian.' Kurt shook his head, inwardly groaning as Sebastian ignored him utterly and sat down on the chair beside him. He shifted, hands under his thighs, and tried to ignore the quell of annoyance flaring in his chest. Of course Sebastian would be a witness to this. Of course.

'Did Blaine not fall for your limited charms? Is that why you are over here sulking?'

'I'm not sulking!' snapped Kurt. 'He-- went home. He was feeling sick.' Kurt shrugged, releasing a hand from beneath him and beginning to play absently with the tablecloth, tracing the patterns slowly with his little finger. 'Shouldn't you be collecting drinks for the rest of your suit?'

'Blaine could never handle gigglejuice. It's why he's banned from communion.' He looked about theatrically. 'And I assume Karofsky has left, since there's suddenly so much more air for the rest of us.'

'Don't be horrible. He took Blaine hom-- oh, don't be such a cad. It might be hard for you to believe, but there are some gentlemen left in the world.'

Sebastian held up his hands up. 'I didn't say a word! And I'm sure that Blaine isn't gaga over Karofsky. That he danced with him and his pencilled in eyebrows all evening just for practise. That's all.'

'Please stop talking, Sebastian.' Kurt rubbed at his temple, an ache starting to fill his head. Dave and Blaine. Honestly, that was just ridiculous. 'You risk cutting your tongue on those gigantic choppers in your tiny head.'

Sebastian, for once, seemed to sense Kurt's mood and pressed no further. 'This is quite a shindig,' he said, changing the subject. He motioned towards the party. 'I didn't know people like this existed.'

'I've seen better,' sniffed Kurt, resting his chin on his hand. 'But after a while, they all start to blend into the other.'

'That sounds so terrible,' Sebastian soothed. 'Poor you.'

'Must you be constantly on my back? Why did you even sit down anyway?'

'Old times sake? I don't know. Maybe I just wanted to talk? Maybe I just wanted to ask what the hell are you doing out here?'

Kurt frowned. 'What are you talking about?'

'This!' Sebastian swept a hand round the room. 'It's all so false and plastic. This wasn't what you wanted when we were dumb kids in Lima. I know for a fact you didn't, because you bored me to death with stories about Sarah Bernhadt on a regular basis. You wanted to be on the stage, Kurt. Not whatever this is.'

'It's still acting!'

'It's opening your eyes wide and looking pretty.' He blanched at the last word. ' _Trying_ to look pretty. And failing.'

Kurt rolled his eyes, grabbed his wine from the table, and took a deep gulp. 'And what would you know about it?'

'I don't.' Sebastian's voice was almost soft. 'I don't know anything about it. I want to know what made you quit on our plans. What made you quit school and head out to whatever this is. I want to know why you gave up on your dream.'

'I didn't give--! I--' He stopped when he saw Sebastian's raised brow. 'Fine. Fine. It--' Kurt worried at his lip. These were thoughts he'd never even gave the chance to formulate to completion in his brain, let alone hand to someone like Sebastian on a silver platter. The wine this evening must have affected him more than he had realised, because there seemed to be no stilling his tongue. 'It was too hard. It would have been too hard in New York. And when that agent came up to me in BreadstiX, well,' Kurt lifted his shoulder and gave a soft smile, 'it was too good of an opportunity to miss. I could spend years fighting for parts on the stage or be famous around the world much more quickly.'

'Nuts!' Kurt jumped at the venom in Sebastian's voice, and one or two guests glanced their way before carrying on. 'You have many, many flaws, Hummel, mainly your insistence on breathing, but you aren't lazy. That's not it at all.'

'That's easy for you to say! No matter what you have Blaine with you, helping you. I would have been on my own--'

'You had Blaine at your side, dummy, and then you decided to welch on our plans to get out of Lima and came here without so much as a goodbye--'

'I said goodbye!'

'To Blaine!' Sebastian blinked rapidly for a few seconds, before turning away, his ears turning a curious shade of red. He took several deep breaths before continuing. 'You got scared, didn't you? That's why you decided to not come New York with us?'

For a moment, sound seemed to dull in the party, become nothing more than a blur and a whine and the increased beat of Kurt's heart drowned what little noise remained away. 'Yes,' he breathed. 'You and Blaine, I knew you'd be a hit-- I always knew it. But I-- there was just me, Sebastian, and how long before you both realised I was the dead weight you were both carrying around? How many failed auditions before you decided to go on without me? How long before Blaine got tired of me?'

'I-- Blaine never would have done that. You know that.'

Kurt was mortified to feel his eyes growing hot and prickly, he shook the threatening tears away with a hard jut of his head. 'I'd spent my whole life fighting in that town. Fighting to fit in, fighting to be noticed, fighting to be loved. I just--' Kurt sighed, '--the thought of starting all over again. It scared me. And then there was this way out. I honestly believed I could do it. That I could follow my dream and still have Blaine in my life...' he trailed off.

'This isn't your dream.' Sebastian was hunched over now, palms pressed together as he watched Kurt intently. It was strange seeing him like this, with no quirked lip or no insult offstage in his eyes.

'It's close enough.'

'And Blaine? Was this demented idea to get the gang back together--' Sebastian made a frustrated circling motion with his hand, '--an attempt to start over?'

Kurt hesitated before nodding slowly. 'I think-- you know, I think it was. It doesn't feel like the first time that I was chasing Blaine. I don't know. I think I'm chasing an-- an--'

'An ideal of Blaine?' Sebastian pressed.

'If Blaine was back in my life, if Mayer would start letting me play meatier roles than maybe I could close this-- this void inside of me. That maybe I'd start to feel--' Kurt drew to a close, feeling as if a weight had lifted and dizzy with shock at the same time. Had all of this been under the surface all this time? And what on Earth did it mean that one tipsy conversation with Sebastian of all people, was the thing to bring it to the light? 'I don't want to talk about this anymore,' he said stubbornly, swinging the gates shut on his feelings. 'It's supposed to be a party.'

Sebastian watched him carefully, silently, for a moment. 'Swell,' he said, at last, 'because any more of that and I'd have grown a vagina.'

'You are so completely vulg--' Kurt's hand shot out and grabbed at Sebastian's wrist tight. 'Oh, my Gosh. Oh, my Gosh.'

'Ow.' Sebastian distantly trying to shake off his hand, but his eyes were too fixed across the room at the most wonderful sight. 'Did you get your period or something? Get off me. What are you even looking--- Oh, honestly, Hummel? You, too?'

'So beautiful. So perfect,' whispered Kurt.

'I don't get it. I really don't. All that black gunk on his eyes and those ridiculous poses. He can't even act!'

Kurt shot a glare to his side. 'That's Valentino, you philistine! The man is a god.' He whistled under his breath. 'Can't act. Have you even seen <i>The Eagle</i>?' Kurt raised a hand to his chest, over his heart. 'I would give anything to act like him.'

'Saving it for when I have a bout of insomnia. And what do you mean? You have just as much talent as him.' Sebastian held out a hand to his knee. 'This much.' He considered a moment before lowering it to his ankle. 'This much.'

Strangely, having Sebastian ease back into his vile self comforted Kurt. He had no idea what that strange foray into-- well-- confider had been but it was certainly not something that he wanted to become a normality. If Kurt had proven anything in this last month, it was that change was the very last thing he wanted.

'You should go talk to him. Trade ego sizes.'

'What?' Kurt gaped. 'Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't. Could I? No. Yes? I don't know!'

'I thought you were a star, too.' Sebastian rolled his shoulders. 'Fine, I'll go talk to him.'

'No!' Kurt grabbed for his wrist again and pulled him down. 'You will not! Don't even look at him!'

Sebastian eyed Kurt's hand around his own for a moment and then shrugged it off roughly. 'Looks like you missed you chance, anyway. He's talking to that malformed child.'

'Who?' Kurt could feel the familiar disappointment in his chest. This wasn't the first time that he had dodged a meeting with his movie icon. But soon, once this silly picture with Sebastian had wrapped up, he would be in real roles. Serious roles. And then he would feel on equal terms to meet the man. Perhaps he could even take up the role in Kurt's life that Blaine had been miscast in. A boy could dream, couldn't he?

He followed Sebastian's gaze, to the girl that was excitedly talking to the living legend. 'Oh,' he whispered as recognition kicked in, 'you have got to be kidding me.'

'She's _so_ loud. Friend of yours?'

'That,' sighed Kurt, wincing as the woman threw her arms around his idol, 'is Rachel Berry.' He pressed his lips together. 'She's--,' Kurt thought about sharing Mayer's loose threat, but decided Sebastian had enough ammunition on him for one evening, 'new in town.'

'And she moves quick--ah--now she's moving towards us. _Loudly_.'

Kurt considered running but an 'oh, my Gosh! Kurt Hummel! I am such a fan of yours!' felled him before he could make his move.

'Thank you, thank you. That's very kind.' He stretched and then feigned shock as he glanced at his wrist-watch. 'Is that the--'

'Sit down, Rachel!' Sebastian offered with a wide smile. 'Kurt was just telling me all about you!'

'Really?' She smiled uncertainly. 'You know who I am?' She collapsed into the seat next to them, grabbing his hands and drawing them to her chest. 'You have no idea how much that means to me, truly. I've studied all your expressions, all your gestures. You are what made me leave behind the greasepaint, the cheers, the open and fall of a curtain. You're why I'm here.'

Guilt started to creep over him as her words sank in. He smiled back and tried not to look like the kind of petty person who had dart marks and deeply etched moustaches on the latest cover of _Screenplay._

'You are too kind, really.' He waved his hand at her and schooled his expression into one of humility while Sebastian snorted. 'This is Sebastian by the way. Try to take an immediate dislike to him. You'll find it saves time.'

She gave him a brief strange look before nodding happily, releasing Kurt's wrists. 'It's nice to meet you, too,' she stuck out a hand. 'Are you in the pictures as well?'

'At the moment.' He eyed her hand, taking another sip of his wine. 'But it's an ailment I hope to be cured of soon.'

Her smile faltered for a moment, and she lowered her arm. 'Oh, right. I see.' She turned back to Kurt. 'I cannot wait to see _The Masked Rider!_ All the fanpages are waving about it.'

Sebastian poked her in the side and she looked at him indigently. 'There you go. Waiting's over.'

'His ailment,' explained Kurt, 'we share it.'

'That's right!' Rachel clapped her hands. 'I knew I'd seen you before. You were in Louella's column. You two make such a lovely couple.'

'No! No!'

'God, no!'

'---I should have known you were blind when I saw that dress--'

'--would rather be eaten by rabid cats--'

'--I feel nauseous and sad--'

Rachel blinked at them. 'Right. Okay. My apologies.' She shrugged. 'I guess the gossip columns had it wrong.'

Sebastian shuddered. 'I should sue for libel.'

'Kurt,' said Rachel, focusing her eyes on him intensely, 'I want to tell you that your performance in _The Scarlet Moon_ was one of the most sublime performances ever captured on film. The poise, the grace--'

'The toga!' Sebastian butted in.

'--the sheer range of emotions that fluttered across your face in each small scene. That's what made me realise that the big screen is just as moving as the theatre, just as important. And that it was time that I became a part of that world.'

'The money helped too, right?'

They ignored him. Kurt gave her hand a tiny squeeze. 'That's really flattering, thank you.'

'No, thank you.'

'I wish this didn't have sound. Looking at it is bad enough.'

'Oh, my. I cannot believe that I'm actually at a party with Kurt Hummel and Rudolph Valentino!' Kurt almost gave a little jump in his chair at the name ordering. How could he have ever been worried about this girl? She was charming and had exceptional good taste. He smiled at her as she went on: '...role of Sadie Thompson. I think that I could really do it justice, my face has all the right angles for a truly tragic role such as hers.'

Kurt tilted his head, his smile frozen on his lips. 'Wait, what?'

'Sadie Thompson? You've really inspired me in your career and I just went to Mr. Mayer and stated my case. He gave me the role!' She pulled him into a sudden hug. 'I'm so happy! And then to get to meet you, too?' She released him, seemingly not realising that he was glaring at her. 'I must dash. Rudy and I are attending a little club downtown and he's waiting for me!' Rachel gave him a quick peck on his cheek before darting upward. With the barest of nods at Sebastian she was off, in the same blur of colour and noise that she had arrived in.

'Wow. I bet--'

'Don't! Kurt held up a finger. 'If you wish to finish this evening with a pulse, don't say another word.'

And for once in his life, Sebastian actually listened.


	4. Chapter 4

  
Kurt groaned as the shrill sound of the telephone woke him. Ripping the eye-mask from his face, he leant over and released a sleepy hello into the phone.

'It's a smash,' said Sebastian. 'That ridiculous farce is actually a smash! People are actually handing over hard earned money to have their vision assaulted by you.'

'Wha-- what's a smash?' Kurt twisted to peek a glance at his clock. 'This couldn't have waited until noon?'

'No doubt you are reclining into seventeen silk pillows while a dove fans you, and feeds you peeled grapes, but I'm having a crisis here. This picture is a hit and now my phone won't stop ringing!'

'A hit?' Kurt sat up and wiped at his eyes with the heel of his hand. 'Really?''

 _Oh, thank God._ If he could just get his flawless reputation back at MGM, then maybe he'd have a bit more power in his casting. He'd signed his latest contract, heart in his throat that he was signing away the foreseeable future to being Rachel Berry's extra, but maybe this was what he needed. Maybe the months of working with an ex-love that barely notices you and a chump that you wanted to set fire to had actually been worth it. He hadn't even attended last night's premiere, crying off with illness, so worried was he that the crowd wouldn't even wait until the final reel before pelting him with rotten fruit. Hell, Sebastian had even told him he was growing tomatoes for the event.

'I'm reading the reviews now,' muttered Sebastian. 'A triumph, a masterclass in subtle humour.' A triumph, Kurt! _Subtle?_ It has four scenes where someone lands on a cactus!' The sound of flipping pages came down the line. 'Oh, look, _"a fine actor who has a fantastic career ahead of him!_ '''

Kurt smiled. 'They really said that about me?'

'No, you idiot, it's about me! They are _all_ about me!'

'Wait, what? They don't mention me at all?'

'No, you're mentioned. You're mentioned a lot. Unfortunately every time you are, it's attached to _my_ name. _"A fantastic duo", "a great dynamic", "the hottest screen couple in film history._ "' Sebastian breathed heavily down the phone. 'How could you let this happen?'

'I don't understand! This is good, Sebastian.' Although he could have lived with a bit more attention being paid to himself. 'Good reviews are good. Shocking information, I know.' Kurt swung his legs out of the bed and eased his feet into his loafers. 'And besides this is all good publicity for you and Blaine. I get my name back in the papers and you get your big break. We all win.'

'Are you not listening? They want us, Kurt. They want more pictures starring you and me!'

Kurt blinked, shaking the words from his head. 'Oh, no no. That will not be happening. This has been a trial from the start. No. I'm going to Mayer in the morn--'

'He's already called, you dummy, he's called and told me to report to the set first thing Monday. That he has a great movie lined up for us both. I have to wear _eyeliner and a turban_!'

'No, this isn't making any sense.' Kurt gripped at the cord wire and wound it tight through his fingers. 'I can't--- this doesn't make sense!.'

Sebastian sighed heavily. 'I signed a contract, Kurt. I didn't think-- I thought that I'd do this one picture and then Blaine and I could maybe start some projects of our own. But-- they want _us_. And I have been through this paperwork over and over, and we can't get out of it.'

Kurt rubbed at his temple. 'Look, we just have to be positive here. We can-- we can do this. We managed not to kill each other the first time. And you and Blaine can continue your act, it will just be uh--'

'Stationary?'

'Yes, that, for awhile. And, you know, fans are fickle! I'm sure that they will get tired of us in no time!' Kurt injected as much false cheer as he possibly could, and winced when he caught a glimpse of his manic grin in the mirror opposite. 'Right?'

Sebastian grunted. 'I suppose in the mean time, I'll just have to develop a drinking problem.' Before Kurt could answer, the dial tone rang out.

'Sick of us in no time,' he whispered to himself as he placed the phone back into the cradle. 'I'm sure of it.'

* * *

 

Sebastian pressed Kurt backwards into the silk sheets, lips covering his in a passionate embrace as his hands wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer, impossibly closer to his body. 'Garlic again?' he mumbled into Kurt's mouth.

'And onions,' Kurt informed him, pinching his fingers hard into Sebastian's side. 'Move your medically worrying tiny head. You're blocking me.'

'I'm sparing the audience the horror of your face.' He peered at Kurt, eyes narrowed. 'Did you get even paler? I keep nearly kissing the sheet next to you.'

'Actually,' Kurt smiled sweetly. 'That's because I keep dodging your rodent like lips, ow!' Kurt winced as Sebastian changed position, accidentally kneeing Kurt's thigh.

'Sorry,' Sebastian muttered, moving quickly before masking his face into that of the lust and imminent seduction that the script called for. He leaned forward and kissed at Kurt's jaw, his thumb rubbing against his upper arm as he went. Sebastian's touch was strangely tender in its exploration and he pulled back, staring into Kurt's eyes- his head tilted in consideration. Kurt tried to school his face from morphing into the confusion he felt. It had been four movies now and he still couldn't read his leading man. He never knew what to expect from one shoot to the next.

One minute things would be as always and the spite between them would fill the air, choking everyone that was near. Others, it would dilute into something more comfortable and good humoured. On these occasions, just as Kurt would actually start to enjoy himself, Sebastian would suddenly grow cold, and spring forward to cross the line with yet another acidic comment. Leaving Kurt wondering if he had imagined the whole thing. Then there were the other times. When Kurt, at some appearance or another, would turn to find Sebastian watching him, his expression contemplative. A supporting hand on his back as the two smiled for the cameras, would linger a moment too long. Or most noticeably, he would allow a whole hour to pass without aiming a single insult Kurt's way. Kurt didn't know what to make with any of it. He passed it off as another one of Sebastian's bizarre head games and just tried to keep out of the way until it had passed.

'Your cue,' he whispered out of the corner of his mouth. 'You missed it.'

Sebastian blinked, looking lost for the moment. 'I know, Pill!' The-- the door! I think they've found our hide-out!' He snarled and climbed off of the bed. Pulling the sabre from his belt and swished it through the air. 'Who goes there?' he yelled, striking a gallant pose.

'Hopefully an acting coach,' Kurt clutched at his nightshirt and opened his eyes in terror, watching as the door burst open and Karofsky, the Terrible Tyrant burst through, his own sword held high.

'It is I! The Tyrant! And I am here to claim my one--' he glanced adoringly at Kurt, '--true love. But first! I will end your miserable life, mwahaha!'

'Fantastic!' Kurt placed his hands on his cheeks and shook his head in horror. 'Do continue!'

'CUT!' Schuester shouted through the megaphone. Glancing over, Kurt saw him closing his eyes and counting his fingers off one by one. Reaching ten, he started over, twice, before opening his eyes and smiling sweetly at Kurt. 'That was fantastic. Really amazing stuff. It's just--- you're not following the script and-- ahh-- that can sometimes come across on camera when the audiences follow lip movements and --ah---'

'Oh?' Kurt said icily. 'Is that so?'

'Well,' Schuester continued, 'take this morning for example? The scene on the balcony where you had to tell Sebastian that you love him?'

'Sebastian's _character_ , you mean, yes. What about it?'

'The line was 'love you, love you, love you.''

'And?'

'Well, you were quite clearly saying fu---'

'Look!' Kurt threw back the covers and climbed wearily out of the bed. 'This shoot is already six weeks over schedule, and we've been filming this same scene for an three hours now. I can feel my cells aging--'

'It shows,' interjected Sebastian.

'--and the thought of doing one more scene with him is enough to push me over the edge. So forgive me if I'm not really feeling it this morning.' Brittany reached Kurt, and began to fuss over his hair and makeup, soothing him as she went. 'Can't we move onto the dance-hall scene already?'

'You mean the one I'm not in?' Sebastian rolled his eyes. 'Suits me, fine. I want to get ready for that bash at Theda's anyway.'

Kurt practically knocked Brittany over as he spun round to face him. 'You're going to Theda's?'

'Ramón invited me.' Sebastian smirked and crossed his arms. 'Your invitation lost in the post, Princess?'

Kurt snorted, glancing over to Schuester who was talking over scenes with Karofsky. 'Hardly! I can't make it because-- I-- uh-- I have plans. Important plans.' He smoothed at his hair. 'Can't possibly get out of it, I'm afraid. Give Theda my apologies.'

'Sure. That's Jake! I apologise to people about you all the time. I often stand outside theatres that play your movies and hand out refunds.'

'I suppose that most theatres are quite close to street corners. It's nice you can kill two birds with one stone.'

'And what are these big important plans of yours, hmm?' Sebastian poked him with the saber and quirked his lip. 'You are going to watch that reel of _The Son of the Sheik_ again, aren't you? I bet your wrist is raw.'

Kurt felt heat rush into his face, and he clenched his hands at his side. Blaine. Honestly, you couldn't trust anyone with anything these days. 'For your information, it's Valentino's best. I appreciate it for it's art. Not for it's baser levels. That's for degenerates like you.'

'This crush of yours has been even more mind numbing ever since he signed that awful poetry book of his for you. You're welcome by the way.'

Kurt faltered for a moment, as he always did when Sebastian reminded him of his one rare deed of almost kindness. Still too shy to approach his all time idol at the premiere for _Cobra_ , Sebastian had sighed at him loudly, snatched the poetry book from Kurt's hands and practically hit Valentino over the head with it. At the time, Kurt had been livid at Sebastian for taking his perfect moment away, but despite this he cherished the smile that Valentino had given him as he handed the book back. Kurt had dreamily traced the the scrawl in the front of that book more times than he could count.

'-- least you aren't reading aloud from it between takes anymore. I could barely handle the nausea.'

'You wouldn't know quality writing if it hit you between the eyes.' Kurt waved at Schuester who was beckoning him over. 'Well, go on then,' he sniffed. 'Go to your party.'

Sebastian tossed the sabre to a stock hand and turned back to him. 'You know, if you want to come I'm sure Ramón won't mind." He looked away, a curious hue raising in his cheeks.

Kurt hesitated, chewing at his lip. He had been borderline camped out below his letterbox for weeks waiting for that invite and the fact that Sebastian had just wandered right in really got his back up. But wasn't it kind of decent for Sebastian to ask him in the first place? He knew, from Blaine, no doubt how much he had wanted to go, Theda's parties were legendary. He'd even had August the 15th circled in his calender for months now. He hoped that she wasn't still holding a grudge over Kurt's comment on her New Year's eve outfit. But who wore a mixed satin and lace then tapped it off with an overlarge mink stole? 'That's-- that's bizarrely accommodating of you, but I think I'm going to pass this time. Thank you.' The last sounded strange coming from his mouth directed at Sebastian of all people.

'Oh, right. Right.' Sebastian shrugged. It doesn't matter to me obviously. It's just-- Ramón! Yes. I think he might actually have a soft spot for you. I assume it's the cataracts.'

'I'm just going-- what, really?' Kurt allowed himself a small smile. Not his type but nice to know he was on someone's eyeline.

' _Really?_ ' Sebastian mimicked in a high voice. 'God, you're irritating.'

Honestly, just whenever Kurt thought he could actually speak decently to the man for five minutes. Gathering himself up to tell Sebastian exactly what was irritating, that quiff for one, he was interrupted by Shuester was calling him over for his next scene. Lifting up his nose, he stalked past Sebastian to the director.

Well, now that Sebastian was gone, at least the day couldn't get any worse.


	5. Chapter 5

'Kurt!' The voice was faint but the strain was unmistakable but Kurt didn't respond. He continued to stare up at the ceiling and ignored the hammering that followed below. Had he ever felt this much pain? Why did it hurt so much? He didn't know him, not really. And yet Kurt's insides felt twisted and hollow, every time he saw his face in his mind it was like his heart stepped back in his chest, hiding itself away weak and scared from the truth.

He clutched at the bedsheets and absently noted the disarray of his room, wincing slightly at an ache in his back. He almost missed the feeling of numbness that had come first, at least then there had been a strange sense of unreality about it all. And with that unreality there lay a hope, that maybe it was a bad dream, a mistake. A cruel joke.

'Kurt! I know you're in there!' Sebastian. Again. There had been other visitors, although none had hammered or yelled so frequently. Constant phone-calls. Probably from Blaine, Dave and the studio. Kurt didn't know. He hadn't answered the phone in days.

Kurt's mind, his cruel unrelenting mind, could not stop replaying the voice from the radio. He remembered a hush spreading through Theda's party rapidly. The quick painful beats within his chest as the words filtered into his mind. The colour as it drained from the face of every party-goer.

_Sebastian._

Sebastian coming towards him and grabbing him by his elbow and quickly escorting him out of the room. Nobody paying them no mind. They hadn't said a word from the house to the car.

'Hospital?' Kurt had whispered softly. His eyes closed. There was a feeling of embarrassment at even asking. At revealing himself so truly to another.

'It's in New York, Kurt,' replied Sebastian softly. And a part of Kurt felt a sense of relief that there was mocking there. No judgement. 'I'm sorry.'

Instead, Sebastian had taken him home. Had followed him in and poured them both glasses of something that wasn't strong enough because of the ridiculous law while Kurt quickly tuned the wireless in, arms wrapped around his legs as he sat down in front of it to listen.

'He'll be okay,' he had said over and over.

It took eight days. Eight days of Sebastian coming and going each day. Calling the studio and saying explaining Kurt was under the weather and to shoot Dave eating more scenery instead. Eight days of the worrying becoming less and less until Kurt actually thought that maybe everything was okay. That everything was going to maybe work out.

It took eight days for Rudolph Valentino to die.

Kurt blinked by tears and shook his head angrily. It had been at least a week since Sebastian had broken the news. How on Earth could it hurt worse now? How was that even possible? Wasn't time supposed to be a healer?

'Kurt! If you don't come down and open this door now, I am climbing up this--- this _vine_!' The sound of scrambling followed by objects falling and frenzied cursing. A shadow of a smile crept to Kurt's lips and he didn't chase it away.

Reluctantly, he climbed out of bed and made his way downstairs. Not even stopping to check his reflection as he passed the large mirror in his hallway. He just didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to.

'---fucking rosebushes--' muttered Sebastian before giving a startled jump at seeing Kurt stood on the step. 'Kurt! I---' He paused and looked him over. 'You look  _awful_.' Kurt snorted and walked back into the house, leaving the door open. 'I mean--- well, obviously, you look horrific usually but this is a whole new level.' Sebastian followed him in as Kurt moved into the den.

'What do you want, Sebastian,' asked Kurt, sitting down and looking out the window. It was a nice day.

'You might want to water those roses. They look like someone stomped all over them, which i hear happens when you don't wa--' Off Kurt's quick, annoyed look, he trailed off with a sigh. 'I want to know you're okay.' Sebastian placed himself in the seat opposite, wringing paper that was wound into a tube between his hands. 'We're worried about you. Blaine. David. Even Mayer seemed concerned.'

'Don't fall for that, Sebastian. Mayer's a better actor then we'll ever be.' Kurt picked at some lint on his dressing gown. 'So, did the studio send you?'

'No. You needn't worry about any of that. I've smoothed everything over.'

'Good. That's good. Thank you.'

'Kurt-- you seem-- Will you at least look at me?' Sebastian ran a hand through his hair as Kurt turned toward him. 'I know you're hurting. I promise you that. And I can't begin to guess what this is like---'

'Don't,' warned Kurt.

'--but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me--- or Blaine if you preferred. He -- calls every day, uh, you should know that and-- Kurt, this is a terrible, terrible thing. I wish I had the magic words to make you feel--'

'Sebastian...'

'--better but I don't none of us do. But let us at least be here for you.'

Kurt rubbed tiredly at his eyes. 'Sebastian, please.'

'If you want to talk about it we can talk, if you want to sit in silence, we can do that, too.'

'Will you stop it!' Kurt snapped. 'Please don't-- please don't be nice to me! I can't handle it if you're nice to me on top of, oh, my God--' Tears sprang to his eyes and in shame he covered his face. 'Please,' he choked, 'can you just go?' Instead, arms enveloped him and he was pulled towards Sebastian's chest. They held him tight as soothing palms ran up and down his upper arm. 'This is so ridiculous,' he muttered into Sebastian's shirt. 'I didn't even know him. I have no right to feel like this.'

'He meant something to you. He was a part of your life, Kurt. It doesn't matter if he couldn't pick you out in a crowd. He meant something to you.'

Kurt nodded, sniffing. 'I know it sounds stupid but no matter what--- no matter what I was feeling, I could escape, you know? I could retreat to this whole other world and when there I got to be part of this whole other imagination. Another life. I wasn't lonely. I wasn't unfulfilled. I was just happy. It just made me so happy, Sebastian. But now-- where can I go? Because the place that I want to hide from this awful, wretched feeling has gone. I've got nowhere to go!'

'It's okay, shh, it's okay.'

They stayed like that for awhile, Kurt quietly crying beneath the whispers of Sebastian's assurances. In the hallway the clocked ticked announcing each passing second, every one feeling like an omen.

Finally, Kurt drew back, wiping at his cheeks. 'It feels like it was a lifetime ago and yesterday all at once.'

'And it might be a long time before that goes away. I can't promise you anything different. The cliché is true, Kurt. It'll stop hurting so much. Not today or tomorrow, maybe not even a month from now but it will. And then you will be glad that you felt the way you did when he was alive, because now you have those moments of joy he gave you for the rest of your life. You won't regret ever feeling the pain you feel now, because it will mean that you allowed yourself to  _feel_  what came before. And one day, you'll have your escape back-- and it will mean that much more. Because now you know how precious it is. And you'll cherish it.'

'That's--- thank you, Sebastian. Truly.' Kurt looked down to see Sebastian was holding his hand tight within his, and in response Kurt covered it with his other hand and gave a nod, smiling softly. 'Thank you.'

Sebastian shrugged, ducking his head away from Kurt's gaze. 'Don't worry. Everything is Jake.' He rubbed at the back of his neck and stared hard at the carpet.

'What's that, Kurt asked to break the silence that had fell. 'Is that a script?' He indicated to the document that Sebastian had left across the room.

'That, ah, that might just be your ticket out of these god-awful fainting victim roles and into a real one.'

* * *

  
That first day, after Sebastian had left, the script lay untouched upon the coffee table. Two days later, Kurt had moved it aside as he gave the top a quick polish. When he had placed it back down he had carefully neatened it. Keeping his eyes away from the titled emblazoned across it like it was a private conversation. He didn't go near it until the fourth day.

His heart was still heavy, and his mind tired and distracted but he picked it up anyway, fingers caressing over the print as he read.  _The Boy at the Bacchanalia_ by Marley Rose.

He read slowly at first, brain not really making sense of the words on the page but soon enough he found that his eyes were straining to see in the dimming light, there was an ache in his lower back and his growling stomach seem more than annoyed.

The play was, simply put, brilliant. Every character was brought to life so realistically, so wonderfully that Kurt felt that when they left the scene he was reluctantly saying goodbye to a favoured friend. But the protragonist, he was something else. Eloquent, strong, brave and funny. Kurt had never wanted to play a role so badly in al his life. It had to be his.

  
'Smythe speaking,' answered Sebastian on the fourth ring. 'What's the chin music?'

'I read it.'

'Well, someone skipped phone etiquette at their finishing school.'

'It's brilliant,' ignored Kurt. 'It's stunning. I have to be in it.'

'Hmm. Hold on.' There was a shuffle and then the sound was covered by a muffling and the low mumour of voices. 'Okay, okay. Which part?'

'I-- Look, I know I pretty much play the same character in everything and don't get me wrong, I do it  _fabulously_ , but I really, really think that I would be perfect as Brendan-- I mean, I could really bring something to the part, you know? I think if you would just have a little--'

'Whoa, calm down, Hummel!' laughed Sebastian. 'You don't need to drag me onto a casting couch. You just have to prove it in your audition.'

'Audition?' said Kurt panicked.

'Yes, darling, it is the theatre, you can't just get a part because the crowd are too numb to your face now to protest. But don't worry, you won't be alone. Blaine and I are going to try out for the parts of the brother and-- uh, Julian.'

'Brendan's lover? Oh, Sebastian. That's such a lovely part. You'd be wonderful in it.'

'Me? Oh, I thought-- I mean, I was going to go for the Rodney but-- yeah, you're right.' Kurt could almost see Sebastian's grin. 'Yeah, I'll audition for Julian.'

  
'When are aud---oh, no,' Kurt deflated as his brain finally caught up with him. 'Mayer's never going to agree to this, Sebastian, I'm behind on filming as it is and I can't just run off to New York for months on end and let the studio lose money like that.' He shook his head. 'And neither can the rest of you! Our con--

'Already taken care of.'

'I'm sorry?'

'It's not going to be a six month run, just a one night only on Broadway only. I've convinced Mayer that the publicity that this will rake in will be worth it. Enough for him to actually want to invest, in fact. And film rights if it's a hit with us reprising the roles we play on the stage. He's already working on planting the stories in the press. We still have to finish this ridiculous movie and then we are free for two months. After that. I don't know.'

Butterflies danced into life from the pit of Kurt's stomach and absently he realised he couldn't recall the last time he had ever felt them. 'I've never done anything like this before, Sebastian,' he said quietly. 'It's been a long time since I was with you and Blaine and even then it wasn't really acting-- not really. This is the real thing. What if I'm not good enough?'

'Kurt,' sighed Sebastian. 'You are self-righteous, self-obsessed and vain to boot. When you talk you sound like a stove kettle reaching boiling point and you're so annoying that there are times when I have to remind myself to never hit a woman but--- you are talented. Very talented although it pains me deeply to admit it. You can do this role standing on your over coiffed head.'

'Oh. Oh, thank you. I think?'

_'Baby, you coming back to bed or what?'_

'Excuse me?' Kurt blushed deeply. 'Oh, you have a guest-- I'm--- sorry! Sorry! I'll let you get back to it. I mean him! To doing him. Argh! I mean--- goodbye, Sebastian!' Kurt ended the call before Sebastian could respond.

Shaking his head at himself, Kurt opened the script back to his favourite scene. What on Earth had that reaction been about? It wasn't the first time Kurt had interrupted Sebastian during a love in. Hell, he had even had to learn to always send Brittany to the man's dressing room first after three unfortunate instances, so what was with the over the top stuttering reaction? He shrugged. Perhaps because in the past two weeks he had been exposed to a side of Sebastian that he had never realised existed before-- and marrying the two sides of his personality was a bit of a shock to the system. Yes, that was probably it. He was just being silly.

Smiling, he began to read the text on the page. It was where Brendan finds Julian in the ramshackled house, alone, cold and all hope abandoned and steps from the shadows into the light.

 _'Brendan,'_  whispers Julian, hoarsely.  _'Am I dreaming? Are you really here?'_

 _'I'm here,'_  replies Brendan. _'I've always been here. It just took you awhile to see me.'_


End file.
